Docket #16-006: Corporations are people, too–terrible, terrible people.

chuao_003Coming up in this episode:

  • Your trip to the grocery store is, in all likelihood, helping fund human rights abuses around the world;
  • Nebraska’s Supreme Court rules that a convicted child molester can live with three teenage girls, because he promised never to do it again. Pinky swear; and
  • My own personal boycott against Chipotle gains even more legitimacy.

I’m Geoffrey Blackwell, I’m coming down from a pretty crazy couple of weeks, and this is Docket #16-006 of All Too Common Law.

Opening Statement

Eagle-eared listeners to the last episode probably caught my remark about behind-the-scenes stuff going on that I couldn’t talk about just yet. I can now tell you about one of the things that’s been going on. Beginning right about when this episode drops, I will be starting my new job as the staff attorney for American Atheists, Inc.

What does that mean for the podcast? Not a whole heck of a lot. There will be a few news stories here and there that I won’t be able to comment on because, well, I’ll be the lawyer involved in the case and that’s a no-no.

It also may—MAY mean a more regular release schedule here at ATCL headquarters.

On a personal level, I’ve fulfilled one of my dreams. Since before I even started law school, I wanted to be a civil rights attorney. I wanted to do what I could to change people’s lives for the better.

And now I get to be one. Specifically for the atheist community, which is amazing, and, by the transitive property of judicial precedent, I’m also going to be working for the benefit of all religious minorities. And I get to do it all from Washington. And I get my own office. Which will be new.

So in basically every way, this is a huge development and I cannot wait to get started.

But this podcast is not about me. It’s about the law, so give it a listen.

Docket #16-005: Predatory Pokémen

Coming up in this episode:

  • All you scholarly types will get to keep using google to search old books;
  • A Missouri lawmaker fight to keep birth control away from his women— just HIS women, mind you;
  • A couple hateful bigots find out other people have rights, too; and
  • Starbucks has to deal with some of the most irritating people on the planet.

I’m Geoffrey Blackwell, I’m a grown man chansing after imaginary creatures with names like Squirtle, and you’re listening to Docket # 16-005 of All Too Common Law

Docket #16-004: Lessons in Punting


I was really uncomfortable while recording this because I was sweating my balls off, so really I didn’t care what I said. Please don’t take any of this as legal advice.


Seal of the Supreme Court of the United States

These guys are the masters of dodging the question.

Coming up in this episode:

•     The Supreme Court gives up and goes home, apparently in order to avoid being used as a politically-divisive issue, because all the justices have Rip van Winkled their way from 1955 to 2015 and don’t realize they’ve been a political hot potato—or the opposite of a hot potato? What’s something that everyone want to hold onto for as long as possible but are eventually forced to throw away? Is there a word for that? Whatever it is, the Supreme Court has been that for fucking ever and they should get used to it; and
•     A group of Patriots fans throw a Hail Mary pass that winds up waaay out of bounds.

I’m Geoffrey Blackwell, it’s roughly 90 degrees in my studio, and you’re listening to Docket 16-004 of All Too Common Law.

New England Patriots Fans v. NFL, Brief in Support of Expedited Motion for Temporary Restraining Order and Preliminary [Injunction]

Download (PDF, 73.17MB)

(My apologies for the size of this file.)